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Tuesday, August 30, 2005
This Is Me Giving Up

I learn to love myself
And I don't need no one else
And when a love moves on,
'Cause it gets cold
Then another moves in
And it can fill the hole
I'm one more hopeful
Lying on the bedroom floor
No sense trying
When the whole thing drops
You lose your nerve
I hope you get what you deserve.
   -So Sad, So Lonely (Matchbox 20)

   Relationships are stupid. There's nothing I can do right anymore, and what am I supposed to do about it? I'm the one taking HIM for granted. I'm the one being shady. "We're just friends that yell at each other all the time." I guess. All because I told him not to come over until later, which immediately leads to the assumptions. "Why, do you have some other boy over there?" Yeah, and while he was in the bathroom I called you. "What, do you just wanna sit on Face The Jury all night without me making fun of you?" He'd make fun of me whether he was here or not, so what's the difference? Shit. If that would've been me jumping to conclusions, it would have been the end of the world? And then he says, "Well, what else am I supposed to think?" Probably whatever the hell you want, just quit yelling at me about it. Did I jump to conclusions when he stayed at Tyler's? No. Which was really good of me, I thought. Since the one time I wasn't with him, he decides to stay there. Every time I'm with him and say, "Don't drink and drive," what does he do? You guessed right. And the night I don't tell him that and wanted to spend the night with him.. Oh, let's stay here? Mmm k. And guess what? It was MY fault that we always have to leave. Yeah. I MAKE him drive drunk. Because he "knows I wanna go home and sleep in a bed." Yup. It's just funny to me all the excuses that aren't even legit. I don't remember ever saying, "We have to go to YOUR house so I can sleep in YOUR bed, and I won't have it any other way." Come ON! And let me see if I can come up with a summarized list of all MY transgressions. I'm always crabby when he calls. I blow up on him all the time. We never have sex. OK, maybe I'm the only one that noticed but let me point out a few words I found kinda significant. "Always. All the time. Never." I'm pretty sure he can't rightly say that. Way to exaggerate just to make me look like the biggest witch. Soo.. yeah. I'm pretty much done trying because I guess relationships just aren't FOR me.

Posted at 07:44 pm by im_so_fake
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Tuesday, August 16, 2005
She Lies And Says She's In Love With Him

She lies and says she's in love with him,
Can't find a better man,
She dreams in color,
She dreams in red,
Can't find a better man.
   -Better Man (Pearl Jam)

   Guh! Stuff is just so stupid sometimes. For example, when people say they're gonna hang out with you, and then they don't call you. I guess it doesn't even really matter, and people don't do it on purpose for the sole reason of pissing me off, but.. hello. I really need to start expanding my circle of friends. Actually, it's not even a circle. More like.. a triangle. Yep, I'm pretty pathetic. Anyway, I'm really confused about my whole situation right now. I don't know if I just overreact to everything (sometimes I do), or if he just says that I'm nagging all the time and stuff like that so he can get out of it and put the blame on me. I just really have this big thing about guys calling me a loser about everything. I guess that comes from the whole "Dustin Era". And it's about the dumbest stuff. Like, because I sit around when I'm bored on Face The Jury.. sorry if that makes me a loser, but what else do I have to do? Read the encyclopedia? Go play chess? Look through my telescope and study constellations? Sorry I'm not as good as you. I don't just work and sleep. And lately, I've been finding myself attracted to guys that I wouldn't have thought I'd ever think twice about. I don't know if that's just because of my recent moods, or if that's my subconscious being like, "Hey! Move on!" Oh well, I guess. But how do you know when it's been long enough.. when to drop off one guy and be like, "Hey, let's get a new one." I'm just scared that I'll never know if I'm supposed to be with someone else. What if I'm not meant to be with him, and really I'll be wasting all this time when I thought maybe I was supposed to be with someone else and I should've just followed my instinct. Guh! I'm so confused.

Posted at 10:58 pm by im_so_fake
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Friday, August 05, 2005
My Weakness Is That I Care Too Much

I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut
My weakness is that I care too much
My scars remind me that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel 
   -Scars (Papa Roach)

   So anyway, I haven't been on here for a while, and it's time for some more of what I call "Get-It-All-Out-There-For-Strangers-To-Read Therapy". So my problem is that Jordan hasn't talked to me for three days. Big deal, I know. When you're used to talking to someone every day though, it's just really weird. But what do you expect from someone that works all night? I mean he HAS to sleep for at least eight hours of the day, and if he doesn't it's my fault. For the last three days, he's been unable to do anything that doesn't benefit him in some way, shape, or form. He doesn't wanna see me enough to come to MY house... Think about it. And then he calls me tonight wanting to know if I wanna do something.. umm, sorry don't I have to work tomorrow? God forbid I not get eight hours of sleep. I really wish I woulda thought of that when we were texting. As a matter of fact, he just texted me again now asking if I wanted to get "crunk". First of all, it's not cool to use that word. Second, if I told you it was too late for me to bother going out at 7:30, what makes 9:00 so much better? And another text just now that D.S. is next to him. And I care why? Speaking of caring...
   I was thinking today that my life was sooo much easier when I didn't care what people thought about me. I had more friends. Different boy every few months.. not doing it with different boys, just hanging out with them. I was a real heartbreaker, huh? Breaking hearts, that reminds me...
   I saw Seth today at the mall. I don't know what it is about dark complected, dark haired guys but umm, cough. I loved him like a fat kid loves cake. You know my style, I'll say anything to make you smile. Anyway. He was on the opposite side of the mall.. widthwise, I mean. Anyway, my jaw dropped when I saw him, and I thought about going up and talking to him but then my brain just kinda went through the awkward conversation that would ensue.. I couldn't handle it. I don't have mack anymore.. or maybe it's just that I don't wanna have it. So I just put my head down and kept walking. Not that I woulda had to put the head down, I doubt he woulda noticed me. I want that butterflies in my stomach feeling again. I need it. I NEED IT!!! Hey, uh, guess who's going psycho.

Posted at 09:09 pm by im_so_fake
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Sunday, May 02, 2004
Adventures of the Wal-Mart Walkers

The worst is over now
And we can breathe again
I wanna hold you high and steal my pain away
There's so much left to learn
And no one left to fight
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain
     -Broken (Evanescence)

     It's been sooo long since I've done a journal. Well, not really ALL that much has happened. Me and Amber were not talking there for a while, but everything's all straightened out now. My life has been sucking, as usual, so nothing new there. Friday night we went to McDonald's because we had nothing better to do. Nick was macking on "us", but really it was only Amber he was macking on. So then we left there and were driving around town looking for something to do.. naturally there was nothing. Then Eric was behind us and we pulled into this parking lot because Amber spilled her ice cream, and he pulled in there behind us to talk to us. We talked to that stupid idiot for probably two hours, and he was being all nice and stuff. He was supposed to be our new source, but nooo, he just had to be an.. not nice person. So last night, we went to McDonalds again, and we called Christopher so he came in there to talk to us. We rode around with him for a little while, and then we went to Wal-Mart. And oh boy, you know we had fun in there. We were studdin' the shades at like, 11:00 at night, and on top of all that it was raining. So we went in there, and we had to pee really bad. So we walked to the first bathroom and it stank to high heaven, and we were laughing and stuff but then there was someone in there so we walked back out. We decided to use the bathrooms at the back. Well there was a lady there cleaning them so I was pushing open the door and she was like, "That's the men's bathroom." The girls' bathroom was "out of order", so we about pissed our pants laughing and went all the way back up to the front bathroom again. There was one open so I went in there and Amber said there was no one in the other one but it was locked. So this lady that works there comes in and asked if there was someone in that bathroom and Amber told her. So then the lady opens the door and Amber was like, "Oh, I'm sorry." It turns out she was just pushing it the wrong way. Then we got out of the bathroom and we couldn't find Christopher, so we're walking around like idiots. Then we seen umm, The One Guy and his stupid Laughing Friend. You know they were just staring it up. Then we walked outside to see if he was in his truck, and he wasn't so we had to walk back inside and The One Guy and Laughing Friend were in their car laughing it up. But, as Amber pointed out, we were walking in the rain with sunglasses on in the dark.

Posted at 08:13 pm by im_so_fake
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Sunday, April 18, 2004
Fruit Punch Encounter #1

I'm never alone, I'm alone all the time
Are you at one or do you lie
We live in a wheel where everyone steals
But when we rise it's like strawberry fields
I treated you bad, you bruise my face
Couldn't love you more, you've got a beautiful taste
     -Glycerine (Bush)

     Interesting weekend. I actually had a good week.. no idea why though. Maybe since we had Monday off.. I don't know. Friday, me and Amber were supposed to do something with Christopher, but then he ended up having to go into work, so we drove around for a while looking for something to do. Well, we saw this other Chris that she knew so we stopped and talked to him and one of his friends. We ended up riding around with them and drinking fruit punch. It was a good time. Well, when we got back to Amber's house, we decided, "Hey since that fruit punch was so good let's jump on the trampoline." Then, I noticed that Jordan had texted me twice wanting to know if we were gonna do something. So I was talking to him, and apparently I called him too. Then him and Cory got back and they were jumping on the trampoline with us. Well, that got boring so Cory told Jordan to come up with a game we could play. Then, we started playing Strip Trampoline. Jordan said something that made me mad, I don't remember what.. but I acted like I was gonna kick him in the groinular area, and he got all mad. Well, then him and Cory went inside because they said me and Amber weren't playing fair.. oh, boohoo. So then we were all just having a dandy time.. I'll leave out all the details.. but Timmy pulled up so we were running around fixing everything. Well, when he came in me and Amber were holding hands and he was all, "What are you two homos holding hands for?" We didn't even realize we were doing it. But he was pretty drunk, and he started bitching at Jordan about how we better not have banged in his bed, and he'd find out if we did and then kill us. It was great.
     Earlier that night, when we were on the trampoline, as soon as me and Amber saw Cory we were like, "Get away from us or your girlfriend will be mad," and he was all, "What girlfriend?" So he broke up with Kim Thursday night, and me and Amber were all, "Oh, that was why she was crying." He said he'd already heard that she looked pretty rough at school that day. How sad. I really did feel bad for her.. for a second. But then she kept calling Jordan Friday night when we were inside, and I told him that I was gonna go bang Cory since he was banging Jenna all the time. I really did think it was Jenna that kept calling him, but he told me later it was Kim. So now she'll probably be trying to mack on Jordan since she can't have Cory. Because when she had Cory she thought she was pissing Amber off, and now that Cory won't have her she'll try and piss me off. How nice. When I got to Amber's today Timmy was sitting in there and he asked me if I got drunk last night. Obviously, I didn't and I said no and he was like, "Well, you look like you have a hangover from hell." Bo.. ok. I didn't look hungover.. I was wearing sunglasses but big deal. So I'm thinking that Cory and Jordan were telling him how much fruit punch me and Amber had the other night, and he was assuming that we were drunk. He probably got his days mixed up. But I think he might have been drunk today because I was wearing my "Joe Mamma" tank top, and he was laughing and saying how funny that was and blah, blah, blah. So now he keeps calling me Mamma, and he thinks it's just hysterical. Woo party.

Posted at 05:00 pm by im_so_fake
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Wednesday, April 14, 2004
Kill The Easter Bunny

I'm so tired of being here
Supressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone
-My Immortal (Evanescence)
     Well. Easter pretty much sucked a butt. It woulda been okay if Jason wouldn't have had to open his big mouth. I guess he was thinking, "Hey, since I have no girlfriend let me make everyone else's life miserable." Well, congratulations you pretty much succeeded. He basically told my mom that Jordan's a bad influence on me. That's it in a nutshell. And he also told her that Amber was "dating a 20-something year old", which she's obviously not. So then after I left my grandma's that day I went to Jordan's because at least one good thing should happen to me that day. So when I got home I got the whole lecture about people who steal stuff are bad, I shouldn't hang around them, they'll ruin my reputation.. the whole nine yards. So I guess I'm probably not supposed to be talking to him or anything, but good God talk about depriving me of a life. Take away my friends. So basically this whole week has sucked because I'm all depressed again. If you've been depressed before you don't really realize when you finally come out of it, until you go back in. You know what I mean? Because I was talking to Jordan one night, and I was like, "I've been in such a good mood all the time.. blah, blah, blah." I guess really that all started happening once me and Amber started hanging out and stuff. Well, then that one night when I was all upset, I don't even remember what about.. that was the night I just like lost it. My whole emotional breakdown on the phone with Jordan and stuff. I think that was the night my mom yelled at me and I flipped out. But anyway, since then I've just been all depressed again, and then I get even more depressed about the fact that I am, and it's just an endless cycle. So now since I'm not supposed to hang around with Amber, Jordan, Timmy or Cory anymore.. really doesn't help. I mean Timmy.. woo.. but the other ones it kinda sucks. Well, me and Amber aren't talking to Cory anymore because he just gets us in trouble. I've done been bitched at so many times by Timmy it's not even funny. He's saying I need to stop running my mouth... if anyone needs to stop running their mouth it's Kim. Ugh. But anyway.. me and Jordan kind of got into it last night, and then he called me but I was on the phone with Amber. I told him I was gonna call him back, but when I did.. surprise he didn't answer. Now.. he could have been on the phone with someone else.. or he coulda been banging. Because everyone knows that people don't answer their phone when they're banging. Ugh. As if I don't already have trust issues with people, they do things that make me suspicious and such. Then, when I get on MSN today, he didn't say one word to me. What the hell?! And he's not on now, and he probably won't call me tonight. Then, I'll sit up wondering if he's gonna call me and I'll be afraid to go to sleep because I won't wanna miss the call. Does that sound like what some other guy always did to me? Yeah, him and Eric are pretty much on the same wavelength on that level. Go figure. I always pick the good ones don't I? On the bright side, my mom thinks I'm psychotic. But she deserves to have a psychotic kid after all the crap she's put me through. I told her the other morning I was depressed and wanted to kill myself because she took away my friends and such, and she was all yelling at me about it. But hello. So this weekend is gonna suck. I can't go to Amber's house again until she spends the night over here, and why would she wanna do that? It's not like there's anything to actually do here. And Jordan said he might come down Saturday for this one thing and then go back up to Festus. Oh boy, am I surprised? "A piece is a piece." Sound familiar? If it's so much trouble to actually see me on the weekends, then God forbid. Just stay the hell up there, I don't care. Actually, I care too much, and that's my problem. Always caring too much. There ya go.

Posted at 09:35 pm by im_so_fake
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Saturday, April 03, 2004
Bang-a-riffc Day!

She put that bottle to her head and pulled the trigger
And finally drank away his memory
Life is short but this time it was bigger
Than the strength she had to get up off her knees
We found her with her face down in the pillow
Clinging to his picture for dear life
We laid her next to him beneath the willow
While the angels sang a whiskey lullaby
     -Whiskey Lullaby (Brad Paisley)

     Today was interesting. I went shopping this morning, and it was actually pretty awesome for once. I got a skirt, a bikini (so cute I would bang it), a little see through kind of shirt to wear over the bikini (also so cute I would bang it), a purse (that needless to say I would bang), two pairs of basketball shorts, a tank top thing, two bras, a bracelet, and I think that's it. I wanted to get underwear, but they didn't have any good ones so scratch that idea. And then I had to mack on the guy at the cell phone place because why else go to the mall if you're not gonna mack. So then I was gonna get this pink cell phone covers with the white playboy bunny on it, but then I wouldn't have a reason to go back. I'm a thinker like that. So I talked to Joey last night, and I had to call him. I was pissed because he said he was gonna call me, but he just sat at his house playing Playstation with Derek. Make me vomit. So then he came to town but he had to go home in like, ten minutes so it was a complete waste. We rode around with Albert for a while, woo party! Me and Amber were gonna do something tonight but everyone hates us, so that plan went well. We never even did anything to make people hate us, but it'll be alright.
     So I talked to Jordan today. Then I said this one thing that pissed him off, and it wasn't even something that was like, a big deal and he f*cking hung up on me. Son of a crap. Calm the mother F down. Then I got pissed and called Amber and told her about it, but we had a good laugh because the thing he got mad about was so stupid. Then she told me how Timmy had told her the other day this stuff that me and Jordan did, and now I'm pissed because he all said he didn't do that crap. Obviously, he's an ass. Me and Amber realized last night that we always go for guys that are. So Ryan's talking to me now, and he's so stupid I just wanna gouge out my eyes. He told me not to get too shitfaced tonight so I told him not to get it in the ass too hard. Go me!

Posted at 10:04 pm by im_so_fake
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Thursday, April 01, 2004
Off Constantly

Fed through the tube that sticks in me
Just like a wartime novelty
Tied to machines that make me be
Cut this life off from me
Hold my breath as i wish for death
Oh please god,wake me
     -One (Metallica)

     Well. Last night was probably not one of my better nights.. obviously. After the journal it just all went downhill. I went upstairs to go to bed, but I couldn't sleep because I was thinking about Jordan and how much I wanted to die. Not that those two go hand in hand, but you see what I mean. So I was almost asleep, focusing on how much I hated Jordan when my phone rings. I was so happy you just don't even know. So there was no conversation going on because I was too busy being depressed and crying, and then Jordan said I worry him because I might be the only girl he knows that's as depressed as he is. Wouldn't we just make a great couple? So then the first like half hour I was on the phone with him, I would just start crying uncontrollably and not be able to breathe.. whatever that's about. So then I kept making him tell me stories, because he's a woo-partyin story-teller.. and it was a good time. Then, he told me that he drank yesterday. Well this was yesterday but he actually said, "I drank today." Then, I started crying about that because.. well crap. It just disappointed me. But when I first started talking to him I thought he had been because I don't know, he just sounds different when he's been drinking. But you can't just ask someone if they drank that day, because well, it's weird. So he put me in a good mood and then I went to bed. Nice.
     So today was alright. This morning Eric sat in my hallway.. again. Then 3rd hour, Heather had a little cheat sheet for our test, and that was all hunky-dory. I only say hunky-dory because we use that word in 3rd hour. Along with "anti-disestablishmentarianism". Nice, huh? So 4th hour, Joey gives me his question to read, but then stupid Adam took it and Joey gave me that little look he does and it made me feel bad and such. Then, Dustin was all, "God, Beth's hot," like just right in the middle of class, and then Kyle had to agree with him, and people looked at me weird. But that Dustin, he's a cat like that. Then Joey comes and sits behind me, and asks me what I'm doing this weekend. Being the party-animal that I am, I told him nothing so he said we're gonna do something tomorrow night. I bet. Then when we were leaving class Dustin put his arm around me and I felt a hand on my butt. So I turn around and there's Matt. So I had to tell him to stop, and then Dustin was like, "Well, you know what that means." Obviously, I didn't and I told him that and he's all, "Well, if he got to do it, then I get to." So I said it was alright as long as I didn't see it, and we're walking down the hallway and he just spanks me. Right in front of everyone, but hey, woo-party. I overuse that phrase now, but it's just so great how could you not? I think that's about the only good stuff that happened today, but I could be wrong.
     Which brings me to the topic of Chris's journal. Now.. he does bring up good points, but at the same time, he has no idea what he's talking about. Cough. He doesn't really know what happened with me and Caleb, and he definitely has no idea what's going on with me and Jordan. He may think he knows everything, but people need to remember that they only know what I let them know. And I do like the new word: "dumbassism". That was a good one. I need to think of my own word instead of always using other peoples'. Well, in all fairness "bang" was my word. I guess it still is, it's just everyone uses it now. Nice, huh?
     I did forget some things, and they just came to me. Today, Danielle filled Rachel's locker with shredded paper and pads. It was pretty great. And there's this Loser League team called "Off Constantly". Now, I never would have understood that if someone wouldn't have told me. See, now if someone beats that team they're all like, "We beat Off Constantly." Or it could be, "Man, no one can beat Off Constantly." I just find that hilarious. But apparently it was Larry the Cable Guy's thing, and they just used it but boy. Crack me up.

Posted at 08:11 pm by im_so_fake
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Wednesday, March 31, 2004
Get That Dirt Off Your Shoulder

If you feelin like a pimp nigga, go and brush your shoulders off
Ladies is pimps too, go and brush your shoulders off
Niggaz is crazy baby, don't forget that boy told you
Get, that, dirt off your shoulder
     -Dirt Off Your Shoulders (Jay-Z)

     People are so stupid. Such a negative way to start off a journal, but really. Like today, one of my ex-boyfriends, we won't mention his name, was standing behind me with his new girlfriend. Okay, aside from the fact that he always told me how much he hated her, I don't have a problem with it. But then again that's what I always said about Seth to Eric, so maybe I should realize what's going on there. But anyway, him, the girlfriend, and one of his friends were talking about me while I was right there. I love when people do that. Do you think I'm deaf? Just in case you're not sure on that point.. I'm not. And to make matters worse, she's in my group for World History. It wouldn't be so bad, except that I try to be nice, and it doesn't work. She was bitching that no one was doing anything. Okay, so I throw some stuff out there and I get the death stare. Alright. So I fold my hands in my lap, and sit all nice and say nothing... "Nobody is doing anything but me." Well, I'm sorry. Anytime people do try and help her she just bitches about it. Some people just can't be pleased. And "This One Girl" hates me because I talked to her boyfriend. She literally gave him the silent treatment for a while because he talked to me. And since she's in my 2nd hour class, she makes sure she talks about him loud enough for everyone to hear. That's not really so necessary because I sit right in front of her. She's like a dog, she has to mark her territory. Oh buddy. There it goes with the not pretty girls getting all the guys. What a good time.
     So, today Dustin called me beautiful again. It's a good time. He's always so nice to me. And then, the other day he was walking past Ryan's locker, which is the one I throw my 4th hour crap in, and he was telling me how much he loved me and putting arm around me and stuff. It was great. But I hate whenever Ryan's all walking behind me and stuff because I know he's there, and I just hate that feeling. That sounded really mean. So Amber has to have an "Angel Weekend" this weekend. Woo party! I'm bad about stealing other people's words. And she doesn't even think that they're gonna do anything because neither one of them can drive, but that'll happen. So she said if her and Angel don't do anything me and her are gonna have to go partying with Albert. His sister can get us soda and such. We told him we were gonna call him last Saturday but we forgot all about it, and we just sat on the phone miserable all night. It's hard for me to deal with her and Jordan both. Anytime I say anything about Jordan to her it's the old "Eye Roll-Sigh Combination" that she got from me. I'm rubbing off on her. And so then when I do something with him she's all moping around about it, and I can't really do something with both of them at the same time. Well I could but that'd only be if like, we had a lot of soda and such. Cough. I can see me and her doing that sometime though. Maybe not with him, but we are drunken sluts like that. Or so I hear.

Posted at 08:01 pm by im_so_fake
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Wednesday, March 24, 2004
Hello There, The Angel From My Nightmare

Hello there, the angel from my nightmare
The shadow in the background of the morgue
The unsuspecting victim of darkness in the valley
We can live like Jack and Sally if we want
Where you can always find me
We'll have Halloween on Christmas
And in the night we'll wish this never ends
We'll wish this never ends
     -I Miss You (Blink 182)

     I love that song. Me and Jordan were fighting over the words to it when we were drunk. But that'll happen. He asked me out last night, but I had to say no. Sunday morning we were talking about it and he said he wished he was in high school again so we could go out and such. Well, he said it wouldn't work out now because we wouldn't be able to see each other, and he wouldn't be able to trust me since he was away at school. That kinda pissed me off because it made it sound like I was such a slut. So I told him I didn't know, and then basically I decided I couldn't go out with him and he got a little pissy. I mean, he was fine at first, but then toward the end of the conversation it just didn't go so great.
     And if it wouldn't be for Dustin, I seriously would not have made it through today. People piss me off so much. Always telling me I shouldn't be doing anything with Jordan, he's a bad influence, I'm a slut, and so on. But today, I was walking down the hall and Dustin was going the opposite way, and I like hit his stomach. Woohoo, you say. But no. He grabbed my hand and wouldn't let go. It was nice. Doo dee doo. And then I got in the room and I was telling Kyle about it. The second I finished Dustin asks me if he could borrow a pencil.. he was standing there the whole time. And he always tells me how cute I look and that he likes my hair and stuff. Aww. Then, after 6th hour (which sucked major butt), I was coming around the corner and who do I see? Dustin. I about died. He always makes me smile, it's so great. Which is tough because I was really pissed after 6th hour. It literally went like this... Me: Dustin!.. Dustin: Hey Beautiful. Is that not sweet. And then today in the bus parking lot he was standing there with some people and I looked over and he blew me a kiss. I about died because I was just thinking today how it's so funny to blow people kisses, I'm gonna start doing it all the time. Well, then he did it to me and it was a good time. Then, he was walking to his bus and he was like, "Bye Beth.. I love you." And then he smiled his cute-ass little smile, and me and Amber about fainted. He's been talking to me a lot lately, and today in the snack line Amber was saying how I could so have him if it wasn't for his girlfriend. But he doesn't like her anyway, because today some chick asked him how long they'd been going out and he was like, "Too long." He wants me what can I say. But everyone is being so freaking stupid, and like every guy hates me. The guys that hate me, I just realized as of late, hate me because I won't do stuff with them. And then the guys that are always telling me not to do stuff with Jordan, he pointed out to me, are just pissed because he's "moving in on their supply." It was a good point.

Posted at 07:53 pm by im_so_fake
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